K_SPECIF.txt Driver File Contents (ASManager2_6.zip)

Name: <  >
Class: <  >
Date: <  >



Specific Detail

Good writers have the ability to make a scene come alive so the reader can see what's happening and can actually join the character wherever she or he is and feel what the character is feeling. Writers show us. That's why good books are better than TV. We watch TV, but still remain removed from it. It's pretty easy to get up and check out the fridge or other places, talk on the phone, flip through all the  other channels, skim through magazines, do your nails, or do your homework while watching TV. 

If you get into a good book, though, you are right there experiencing what the characters experience. The characters become real and you can't stop reading. When you get to the end, you're a little disappointed because you'll miss those characters like you miss a good friend. If you've met Huck Finn, Holden Caulfield, or Scarlett O'Hara, you know what we mean.
 	 
Remember "Show -- Don't Tell" from the earlier activity? To show, good writers must be observant of both nature and people; they must see those things the rest of us miss or overlook. It is those specific details that make good descriptive writing come alive.


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Activity 1

Read the following selections from "To Build a Fire" by Jack London, adding specific language where words have been deleted (<  >). Compare your version with London's that follows. Bracket [ ] London's phrases that you particularly like.

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He <  > in among the big <  > trees. The trail was <  >. A <  > of snow had fallen since the last sled had passed over, and he was glad he was without a sled, traveling light. In fact, he carried nothing but the lunch <  > in the handkerchief. 


Name and save this file now. (Press ctrl+S, type a name for the file, and press enter.)




Original:

He plunged in among the big spruce trees. The trail was faint. A foot of snow had fallen since the last sled had passed over, and he was glad he was without a sled, traveling light. In fact, he carried nothing but the lunch wrapped in the handkerchief.

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He was surprised, however, at the cold. It certainly was cold, he concluded, as he rubbed his <  > nose and cheekbones with his <  > hand. He was a <  >-whiskered man, but the hair on his face did not protect the <  > cheekbones and the <  > nose that <  > itself <  > into the <  > air.



Original:

He was surprised, however, at the cold. It certainly was cold, he concluded, as he rubbed his numb nose and cheekbones with his mittened hand. He was a warm-whiskered man, but the hair on his face did not protect the high cheekbones and the eager nose that thrust itself aggressively into the frosty air.


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Activity 2

Add specific details to the following paragraph at the markers.


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The old, rusty Volkswagen with three flat tires sat next to the leaning garage. The <  > paint was <  > from over <  > years of <  > driving on <  > roads. One <  > fender was <  >. Where the <  > used to be was a bent <  >. The <  > bumper hung <  >, attached with <  >. Under the <  >, on the <  > windshield, lay a <  >, <  > FOR SALE sign. 



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Activity 3

Now it's your turn. Make a copy of the paragraph you wrote in the previous file at the angle brackets below.



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<  >



Directions: Make a list of at least ten specific details that would fit into your paragraph.

Before you begin your list, you must realize that specific details are not words like:

good	neat	nice
wonderful	bad	awesome

Specific details are specific details! If you want to show that someone is good-looking, you show specifically what that person has that makes them good-looking in your eyes -- green eyes, crooked smile, a little hooked nose, high cheekbones, etc.

Now try it, one detail at each insert marker, and please... be specific!



Ten Details:

 1. <  >

 2. <  >

 3. <  >

 4. <  >

 5. <  >

 6. <  >

 7. <  >

 8. <  >

 9. <  >

10. <  >



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Activity 4

Directions: Now, using those new details, expand the original paragraph into two paragraphs. Make a copy of the original at the marker below and revise it, adding these new details.


<  >



If you haven't done so already, name and save this file now. (Press ctrl+S, type a name for the file, and press enter.)

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end of activity
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