l_combin.txt Driver File Contents (ASManager2_6.zip)

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  Combine

Are your sentences too skinny? Or are they overstuffed?

One way to improve your writing -- at any stage, whether you're writing or editing -- is to look carefully at your sentences. Ask yourself: are there too many short sentences? Could some short ones be combined? Are there too many long sentences? Could they be broken up? How?

You can do a lot to your sentences to improve them. 

Below is a little story written in skinny sentences. Make some of them a little fatter by combining them. You can delete repeated words and add combining words. Some combining words you can use are: "because," "when," "but," "and," and "although." Or think of your own.





The Lion and the Mouse

One day a lion was walking. He was walking through the forest. The other animals saw him coming. They ran away. The lion was so strong. Then one day the lion stepped on a thorn. He tried to get it out of his paw. He couldn't do it. His paws were so clumsy. His teeth were too big.

He began to roar with anger. He frightened all the other animals. A little mouse crept out of a hole. The hole was in the ground. He saw that the lion was hurt. The mouse was scared. He decided to help the lion anyway. He pulled the thorn out of the lion's paw. The lion was grateful. He thanked the mouse. They became good friends. The lion protected the mouse from the other animals.


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This is the way one writer improved the sentences. Scroll back and compare these sentences with yours. Talk about them with your partners. Which do you like best? Make any changes you'd like to.


One day a lion was walking through the forest. When the other animals saw him coming, they ran away because the lion was so strong. Then one day the lion stepped on a thorn. He tried to get it out of his paw, but he couldn't do it. His paws were so clumsy and his teeth were too big.

When he began to roar with anger, he frightened all the other animals. A little mouse crept out of a hole in the ground. He saw that the lion was hurt, and although the mouse was scared, he decided to help the lion anyway. He pulled the thorn out of the lion's paw.  The grateful lion thanked the mouse. After that, they became such good friends that the lion protected the mouse from the other animals.

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Hmmm. How did the lion protect the mouse? Add a sentence to the end of the story to make it a bit more interesting.


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Another very useful way to combine sentences is to use the word "who." Look how it works:

From this:

I have an uncle.
He is very rich. [Who]
He lives in a castle. [Who]

To this > My uncle, who is very rich, lives in a castle.

Or this > My uncle, who lives in a castle, is very rich.

Did you notice the commas?

In the story below, replace the words in CAPITAL LETTERS with the word "who," add commas, and delete unnecessary periods. You will be improving these sentences a lot! Afterwards compare your work with your partner's work.



A poem or a song that tells a story about someone is a ballad. In almost every country, there are ballads about people. THESE PEOPLE lived long ago and THESE PEOPLE did exciting things. In the United States, there are ballads about Paul Bunyan. HE made trees into logs. There are ballads about Johnny Appleseed. HE planted many apple trees and about John Henry. HE helped to build the railroads. There is also a ballad about Casey Jones. HE was a famous railroad engineer.


Name and save this file now. (Press ctrl+S, type a name for the file, and press enter.)


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