1. ASManager2_6.zip Driver
2. k_right.txt File Contents

k_right.txt Driver File Contents (ASManager2_6.zip)

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"Right" Word

When rewriting, check each word and idea. Read your draft closely to make sure it says what you intended. Ask a friend or writing partner to read it to find out if your intention is clear.

Sometimes a thesaurus is helpful for choosing an exact word. For example, "The street was dirty" could mean it was "unclean" or "littered." Either is correct, but only the writer knows which meaning is intended.

The passage below from a novel by C .S. Lewis is rewritten to include word choices with somewhat similar meanings in parentheses. Go through the passage and delete all choices except the word you feel is best. Also delete parentheses.

Read quickly through the full selection before making choices. Read for meaning and rhythm and for images the words create in your mind's eye. You may recognize the noble and magnificent lion turned to stone through the wickedness of the boy.

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Rewritten Passage

And he stood there (exalting, gloating, crowing) over the stone lion, and presently he did something very (foolish, silly, senseless) and childish. He took a (stump, piece, length) of lead pencil out of his pocket and (drew, sketched, scribbled) a moustache on the lion's upper lip and then a pair of spectacles on its eyes. Then he said, 'Yah! Silly old Aslan! How do you like being a stone? You thought yourself mighty (fine, good, splendid), didn't you?' But in spite of the scribbles on it, the face of the (heroic, great, wonderful) stone beast still looked so (awful, terrible, atrocious), and sad, and noble, (looking, staring, gazing) up in the moonlight, that Edmund didn't really get any fun out of (jeering, poking fun, scoffing) at it. He turned away and began to cross the courtyard.


Name and save this file now. (Press ctrl+S, type a name for the file, and press enter.)

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Following the questions below, you'll find the passage as the author, C. S. Lewis, actually wrote it in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Read the original passage
and note which of the word choices were the author's, then answer the following questions.

Do you think any of your choices work better then the original? List them:

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Do you think any of your choices work as well as the originals? List them:

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Select two words the author used and tell why they are the best choices:

Word one:

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Word two:

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Original Passage

And he stood there gloating over the stone lion, and presently he did something very silly and childish. He took a stump of lead pencil out of his pocket and scribbled a moustache on the lion's upper lip and then a pair of spectacles on its eyes. Then he said, "Yah! Silly old Aslan! How do you like being a stone? You thought yourself mighty fine, didn't you?" But in spite of the scribbles on it, the face of the great stone beast still looked so terrible, and sad, and noble, staring up in the moonlight, that Edmund didn't really get any fun out of jeering at it. He turned away and began to cross the courtyard.

Excerpted from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
By C. S. Lewis

Now go back and answer the questions.

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Create your own short passage about a stone lion, a brick road, or a paper house, or a...

Write your first draft freely. Then go back and revise. Look for words and ideas that need to be made more specific or otherwise changed or deleted. Share your draft with a writing partner or writing group. Edit and make final revisions.

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If you haven't done so already, name and save this file now. (Press ctrl+S, type a name for the file, and press enter.)

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end of activity
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