1. ASManager2.zip Driver
2. G_SPEECH.txt File Contents

G_SPEECH.txt Driver File Contents (ASManager2.zip)

Name: <  >
Class: <  >
Date: <  >


Revealing Speech

In real life, how an individual talks and what is said help to reveal the person. In ordinary conversation, we tend to repeat ourselves, ramble, or use expressions such as "You know," "Really?" or "Actually." We forgive ourselves and each other for our unhampered flow of words in conversation, and well we should!

Written speech, or dialogue, however, is different. Dialogue is much more economical than actual conversation. The goal? Give the flavor of real speech in as few words as are needed to reveal the character and situation. In this file, you will write snatches of dialogue into a character sketch. But first, read a normal-sounding conversation.


Conversation:

Jane: Well, I know I probably shouldn't have, but...well, you know, I just wanted to do something -- anything -- different! I get so bored around here with nothing to do and, well, I thought, what do I have to lose? So, I lose five -- ten dollars at the most! What's the diff?


Editing Dialogue:

Turn the above conversation into written dialogue by editing the version below. Delete words! Give the flavor of real speech in as few words as are needed to reveal the character and situation.



"Well," Jane said, "I know I probably shouldn't have, but...well, you know, I just wanted to do something -- anything -- different! I get so bored around here with nothing to do and, well, I thought, what do I have to lose? So, I lose five -- ten dollars at the most! What's the diff?"


Name and save this file now. (Press ctrl+S, type a name for the file, and press enter.)

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Now, do a word-by-word comparison by counting the number of words in the original conversation, your Edited Dialogue, and the Model Rewritten Dialogue below.


Model Rewritten Dialogue:

"I know I shouldn't have," Jane said. "I just wanted to do something different! I get so bored with nothing to do. So, I lose five -- ten dollars!"


Number of words in the Conversation?


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Number of words in your Edited Dialogue?


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Number of words in our Model Rewritten Dialogue?


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Confer

Discuss and compare the three forms of dialogue with a writing partner. Feel free to agree or disagree with particular deletions and which words need to be retained to reveal the character and situation.


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Now spend a few minutes discussing the following question with a writing partner or group.


Q: Why shouldn't we write dialogue the way people really talk?

Record answers:


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If you reach a consensus, state your conclusion.


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Leading Qualities

The conversation and dialogues just reviewed told us how Jane was feeling. She told us she felt bored. To show "bored" as a characteristic or leading quality of Jane, she must be:

a. bored some of the time.
b. bored much of the time.
c. bored all of the time.


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Do you know someone who exhibits any one quality or characteristic "all of the time"? Do you know someone who is honest or cheerful or sad or nervous or foolish or brave all of the time? A quality is a characteristic if it is a part of the person much of the time. Being "bored" is a characteristic of Jane only if she's bored much of the time.



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Character Sketch and Dialogue

Begin notes for a character sketch of a person whose leading quality is either:

a. bored, or apathetic
b. lively, or animated


Think of the sketch as capturing a person at a certain moment in time. If you have a real person in mind, you will be "sketching" that person's apathetic or animated behavior on a particular morning, afternoon, or evening. Think of your person in a particular place.


My character's quality is <  > on a particular <  > . The place, or setting, is <  >.



Define your character's appearance (age, sex, dress, etc.).


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List typical, specific behaviors that could show your character is apathetic or animated. Example: Your character may or may not prefer watching television much of the time.


<  >





List words, expressions, or bits of dialogue that can characterize how a person talks who is apathetic or animated. Example: "WowEEEE!" the cheerleader screamed. "I love those pompoms!"


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A Model

Ideas for getting started in writing dialogue:

Do some selective eavesdropping! Listen to how people talk in the school cafeteria, a restaurant, on a bus, or any public place. Write down conversations as you remember them. Then rewrite them into dialogues.

Study the dialogue in stories by well-known authors. Remember, your character sketch requires only snatches of dialogue to reveal the character at a particular moment in time. Here is an example from a short story called "Mrs. Ripley's Trip" by Hamlin Garland:


The room was small, the chairs wooden, and the walls bare -- a home where poverty was a never-absent guest. The old lady looked pathetically little, wizened and hopeless in her ill-fitting garments (whose original color had long since vanished), intent as she was on the stocking in her knotted, stiffened fingers, but there was a peculiar sparkle in her little black eyes, and an unusual resolution in the straight lines of her withered and shapeless lips. Suddenly, she paused, stuck a needle in the spare knob of hair at the back of her head, and looking at Ripley, said decisively: 'Ethan Ripley, you'll haff to do your own cooking from now on to New Year's; I'm goin' back to Yaark State.'

Excerpted from "Mrs. Ripley's Trip"
by Hamlin Garland



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Try using the Hamlin Garland passage as a model to show your character as apathetic or animated. Try filling in the blanks.


The room was <  >, the chairs <  >, and the walls <  > -- a <  > where <  > was <  >. The <  > looked <  >, <  >, and <  > in her/his <  >, <  > as she/he was on <  >, but there was a <  > in her/his <  >, and <  > in the <  > of her/his <  > lips. Suddenly, she/he <  >, and said "<  >."



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Compose

Draft a character sketch of about three paragraphs using your notes. Your goal in this sketch is to use snatches of dialogue to give the flavor of real speech, using as few words as are needed to reveal the character and situation.

Begin your draft below. 


Character Sketch

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Peer Exchange

Discuss your intentions for your character with a writing partner. Exchange drafts. Exchange reactions. Do the details of appearance, actions, speech, and so forth reveal the character as apathetic or animated?

You may want to print just "My Character Sketch" for this purpose.

Go back and revise and edit your work.



If you haven't done so already, name and save this file now. (Press ctrl+S, type a name for the file, and press enter.)

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end of activity
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