1. ASManager2.zip Driver
2. F_TRIM1.txt File Contents

F_TRIM1.txt Driver File Contents (ASManager2.zip)

Name: <  >
Class: <  >
Date: <  >



Add and Trim
Part 1

Writers often cut unneeded words and ideas to sharpen those they want to leave with the reader. Some writers begin with an abundance of information, then revise until the writing is clear and crisp.

Below is a rewritten version of a paragraph from The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane. It has been modified so that descriptive details are missing. Read the paragraph, skipping over the numbers.

Modified Passage

He was being looked at by a dead man <1>. The corpse was dressed in a uniform that once had been blue <2>. The eyes, staring at the youth, had changed to a dull hue <3>. The mouth was open. Its red had changed to an appalling yellow. Over the <4> face ran ants. <5>


Name and save this file now. (Press ctrl+S, type a name for the file, and press enter.)

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Think about the modified passage as you reread it. Then, make up answers to the questions below. State your ideas in a word or phrase; add them at numbered locations.

1. What was the dead man's position, and where? Was he seated, lying, by a cannon, on the ground?

2. What color was the once-blue uniform?

3. What do you think the "dull hue" of the eyes was like?

4. What color or texture was the skin on the face?

5. What might ants on the dead man's face be doing?



Reread your paragraph. Revise details where needed until the story is clear. Remember, the quality of details matters, not the quantity.


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Now it's time to read the paragraph as Stephen Crane wrote it in The Red Badge of Courage:

Original Passage

He was being looked at by a dead man who was seated with his back against a columnlike tree. The corpse was dressed in a uniform that once had been blue, but was now faded to a melancholy shade of green. The eyes, staring at the youth, had changed to the dull hue to be seen on the side of a dead fish. The mouth was open. Its red had changed to an appalling yellow. Over the gray skin of the face ran ants. One was trundling some sort of a bundle along the upper lip.

Stephen Crane's choice of descriptive words produces an overall effect. Which of the following seems most true:

The overall effect is to:

a. describe how a dead person looks
b. describe the horror of battle
c. describe the colors of death

<  >

Write a two- or three-sentence paragraph telling why you selected answer "a," "b," or "c."

<  >


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Now, go back and compare the modified version you completed to the original paragraph Crane wrote. How would you change your paragraph to obtain an overall effect similar to effect "a," "b," or "c"? State which effect you wanted to achieve.

My Modified Paragraph

The overall effect I wish to achieve in my paragraph is to describe <  >


Ask your writing partner to read your paragraph. Ask your partner to describe the overall effect of your paragraph. Does your partner's opinion agree with yours? If not, try to make changes needed to strengthen the overall effect you wanted to achieve.


If you haven't done so already, name and save this file now. (Press ctrl+S, type a name for the file, and press enter.)

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end of activity
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