1. ASManager2.zip Driver
2. e_punchy.txt File Contents

e_punchy.txt Driver File Contents (ASManager2.zip)

Name: <  >
Class: <  >
Date: <  >



Punchy Verbs - Et Cetera


A "punchy verb" is a strong verb. Strong verbs help define a character cleanly and clearly! Compare these examples:

     Reggie went all the way to school very hurriedly.

     Reggie sprinted all the way to school.


Notice how the statement about Reggie is not very interesting when he "went all the way very hurriedly," but he comes alive when he "sprints"!

Try "punching up" the following sentences. Change verbs and any other words to help the character come alive!

Matthew went very quickly out of the gas station. "Fire," he said, loudly. At first, no one seemed to hear what Matthew was saying. Then Matthew began to say even louder, "Fire."


<  >



Name and save this file now. (Press ctrl+S, type a name for the file, and press enter.)

===================

Compare your "punched up" version with a writing partner's. Also compare changes with this rewritten paragraph.


Matthew flew out of the gas station. "Fire!" he shouted. At first, no one seemed to hear him. "Fire! Fire!" he shrieked.


Notice:

"flew" takes the place of 3 words.
"shouted" takes the place of 2 words.
"him" takes the place of 4 words.
"he shrieked" replaces 7 words


To write with punch, which seems to be the better choice -- more words or fewer words?


<  >



===================

Another way to add "punch" is by changing general words to specific words. Compare:

     Reggie sprinted all the way to school.

     Reggie sprinted eleven blocks to school.

     Reggie sprinted eleven blocks to Sanford High.


Make the character in the next paragraph come alive. Here are some of the ways you might add punch:

Change word order.
Replace repetitions of a name with a pronoun.
Use strong verbs.
Replace general words with specific words.
Delete unnecessary words.


To do your rewrite of this paragraph, make a copy of it at the <  > angle brackets below, and then insert, delete, and move words or phrases.



Reggie was very used to sprinting. Reggie was always in a hurry. He could wash himself, put on his clothes, and eat a bowl of Post Tasties very quickly. He could say "Hi" and "Goodbye" to his mother, go hurriedly out the door, and walk all the way to school very quickly, while some of us had just started to shut off our alarm clocks.



Your Rewrite

<  >


===================


Compare your rewritten paragraph with the rewrite below, while you consider the suggestions in the list.

Change word order.
Replace repetitions of a name with a pronoun.
Use strong verbs.
Replace general words with specific words.
Delete unnecessary words.


Note: Don't assume your rewrite must match this one. Yours might be better!


One Suggested Rewrite

Sprinting wasn't new to Reggie. He was always in a hurry. He could wash, dress, and down a bowl of Post Tasties in ten minutes or less. He'd "hi" and "goodbye" his mom, fly out the door, and sprint the eleven blocks to school, while some of us were still shutting off our alarm clocks.



===================


Draft a Punchy Character Sketch

From what you know about Reggie, choose a quality to characterize him. (Any of these words could be supported by giving additional details about him!)


active	hyperactive	energetic
frenetic

<  >



Now, using the word you selected to characterize Reggie, continue the character sketch you've already begun about him. Or, you can use the word to write about another person with that quality.


<  >



===================

Rewrite/Edit

Make a copy of your draft of a character sketch at the <  > angle brackets below. Rewrite, keeping this list in mind:

Change word order.
Replace repetitions of a name with a pronoun.
Use strong verbs.
Replace general words with specific words.
Delete unnecessary words.



<  >



===================


Peer Exchange

Ask your writing partner if your character sketch shows one or two "particular" qualities or characteristics, ones that reveal the person from your perspective. Discuss details of appearance, action, behavior, and speech. Do they work as evidence? Do they support the character's leading quality?

You may want to print just your sketch for this purpose.

Based on what you learn from your discussion, scroll up and revise and edit your work.


===================


Write a Final Draft

Review the ideas for punchy writing. Make a copy of your draft beside the <  > angle bracket below. Then work to make your final draft the best yet! Check each word, each idea, each mark of punctuation. Your goal? To reveal the character!


<  >



If you haven't done so already, name and save this file now. (Press ctrl+S, type a name for the file, and press enter.)

===================

end of activity
Copyright Renaissance Learning, Inc.